Welcome everyone. This is my first ever attempt at writing a blog so I ask that you all please bare with me. I have been thinking about blogging for several months now & finally said why not? I am hoping to share my own experience with infertility, as well as to remind others they are not alone in this journey. Infertility brings about some ugly and not so nice emotions. Its a taboo subject that no one wants to discuss and it can make you feel all alone, but know you are not.
My hubby and I we are dealing with both female and male factor infertility. Our RE believes that IVF with ICSI is our best chance of achieving pregnancy. Everyone tells us we should be excited as IVF worked before. I'm not sure I really believe that, but I think thats me simply trying to protect my heart. The truth is since our miscarriage in July I've had a really hard time. I'm struggling to let go of those emotions. We saw our baby and our baby's heartbeat during an u/s at 7 wks. At 9 wks the heartbeat was no longer there. It hurts like hell to work so hard to get pregnant and then lose it. Since that time I've had to go back on anti-depressants and anxiety medications. Its been my experience that this is one of the things that no one tells you about infertility. It's NORMAL to feel depressed and its also normal to feel angry, jealous, and bitter. Sadly it seems that only others struggling with infertility are able to understand those emotions while the rest of the world just sees us as "always wrong" and find our feelings offensive. I think that is what I find most difficult about infertility. I can say, however, that thru the wonder of the internet I have found and made some amazing friends - they are strong & terrific women! We all share a bond and while none of us ever wanted to be on this journey I am so honored to walk with you!!!
